I miss you. But I’m trying not to. I want to hate you. But I care for you. To you I may not have been much. But to me, you were the world. I want to forget you. But every place at home is every place I’ve been with you. I want to talk to you. But I also know I no longer can because when you truly care for someone, you put their happiness before yours. I became a walking contradiction. I’m both happy and sad. I believe you contributed to this indescribable feeling. I fell for you deeper than what I expected. I feel like I am stuck in a never ending tunnel, a storm that feels like forever, a typhoon during spring, and any other unfortunate event. I am so broken. You broke every bit of the pride I had left. Why hasnt there been a day that I slept properly after 2 years has passed? How is any of this fair? What about me? Do I really not matter? Is my existence really just that bad for you to treat me the way you did? Mistakes are often made. What makes my mistakes different from yours? What did I exactly do to deserve to get hurt this much and this long? How could you take advantage of all the things I’ve also done and make it seem like I did nothing for you at all?
The funny thing about this it’s all in my head. This is just a memory that’s already done. Why do my thoughts wander the most at night? Ugh.
I’m thankful for all that I have now. Specially having a special guy who took the time to understand me regardless of these ridiculous thoughts or feelings that I get here and there. I couldn’t ask for anything more. You are my boyfriend now for a reason and I am happy with just how it is. I strongly know that you also feel the same to why I feel that everything is possible :) Thank you for taking care of me.